The golden rule has many permutations and appears in every corner of the globe.  It is essentially a reciprocity formula designed so people treat each other as equals.  Leviticus wrote, Love your neighbor as yourself.  Confucius said; Never impose on others what you would not choose for yourself. 

The golden rule is that there are no golden rules. – George Bernard Shaw

This rule is the minimum acceptable standard but only works if both parties prefer being treated the same way.  It exists in the domain of knowing.  In other words, as long as you know, or even worse believe you know, how people should and want to be treated, all is well. This will work until you treat someone who disagrees with your beliefs and their preferences are different from yours. The trouble is, this isn’t how equals treat each other anyway.  If I ‘know’ what’s best for you, that really works for a parent child relationship, but not for equals.

If you are ready for the next step consider the unknown, the other persons point of view, wants and interests.

The platinum rule moves you into the domain of ‘not’ knowing.  Essentially the rule suggests you ‘treat others the way they want to be treated.’

Do not do unto others as you would that they should do unto you. Their tastes may not be the same. – George Bernard Shaw

If a ‘Martian’ suddenly appeared here, there would be a serious inquiry about what they wanted, thought and even their opinions.  Yet most of the time we practice the ‘golden rule’ instead of the platinum.  Asking, investigating, observing with an eye for what someone else likes, wants and needs is rare. Providing it is rarer still.  The domain of ‘not knowing’ is much bigger than the domain of knowing but it is so difficult to operate in. It is uncomfortable and all sales people have to learn how to operate in it.  The better you operate the more successful you will be.  Suffering constant rejection suggests you are still using the golden rule to your detriment.

Earl Nightingale said, To be successful in selling, and remember each of us succeeds in life to the extent of our ability to sell, selling our families on our ideas, selling education in schools, selling our children on the advantages of living a good and honest life, selling our associates and employees on the importance of being exceptional people. But to be successful in selling our way of the good life, we must be willing to pay the price.  

What is the price?

The Palladium Rule is the most expensive.  If you do a quick internet search you will not find it either. I don’t know what else to call it but there really is a third domain. Dualism; good and bad, right and wrong, left and right keep us stuck in what we know what we know and what we know what we don’t know.  This ‘magic’ act of thinking is the true theater of the absurd keeping the third domain nearly beyond comprehension.  What we don’t know what we don’t know is the resource, the source of everything. Those who garner, learn, study and practice access have the ability to move mountains and more.  Treating people in a way they don’t know they want to be treated, that leaves them grateful and empowered, is a skill worth pursuing in my view.

In my experience, those committed to the golden rule cannot conceive of ‘Palladium.’ The few who find it all practiced the platinum rule and stumbled upon palladium instantly knowing it is what everyone really wants.

If love does not know how to give and take without restrictions, it is not love, but a transaction that never fails to lay stress on a plus and a minus. – Emma Goldman

Looking for the Palladium of health care? This will make a difference.