The Happiness Trap

I have been looking for the triggers to effortlessness in my life for a long time. I have had long periods of serendipitous coincidences and synchronicity where even the accidents out of my control were magical. Everything just worked out somehow effortlessly. Happiness insured I didn’t even notice that was different from most people around me and when I did have it exposed I was concerned at first that I didn’t do anything for it to happen. That seemed illogical rather quickly. What I was stuck with for a long time was I didn’t know how I did it. I couldn’t explain it or share ‘it’ so anyone who wanted it could produce it too. Everyone is worthy of having everything, their hearts desire, effortlesslysomebody1

I have been reading multiple books at a time since I first learned ‘Run Dick run. See Sally run.” Some of the books left me altered somehow. I read ‘The Seven Sweet Blessings of Christ and How to Make Them Yours’ by Gerald Vann as a doubting Thomas teenager. Gerald in his offhand manner mentions that the one thing all the saints have in common is being ‘notoriously happy’.

Happiness is a choice. However much of what is offered about happiness is from the position it is missing and there is something you must do to acquire it. For many it is either how they keep score or the goal for what they are doing, a place to get to and then they will be happy. Highly unlikely in either case happiness ever appears!

Real happiness is cheap enough, yet how dearly we pay for its counterfeit. – Hosea Ballou

As a child I heard often, whenever I was especially upset and pontificating about something … “The things we like least in others is the thing we like least in ourselves.” Or “Remember, whenever you point a finger at someone, three are pointing back at you.”


NO Happiness playing this game

At some point, I realized that the problem’s solution was in me. It was later I realized everything I liked about people was also in me. Much later, I stopped taking it personal when someone found fault with some aspect of me knowing I had only mirrored him or her somehow. Engaging in the attack never made a difference.

What we see in others is only a reflection of ourselves. If you cannot find kindness, tenderness, love, compassion, consideration in someone, it is a reflection of you upsetting you. Two worthwhile blogs that do this justice are:

Everyone is Your Mirror – The Greatest Relationship Secret By Tania Kotsos

THE SECOND UNIVERSAL TRUTH: Your life is a mirror by Michael Brown

Reject the mirrors in your life at great loss and risk of losing any true happiness.

Happiness is either the path or the goal. As a goal you are not happy mirror8pretending everything is all right. Practicing nice may even be abuse if you are not happy. If what you are doing is because it makes you happy, what happens when it doesn’t? What if everything done for happiness was not about happiness but about getting something you already have but can’t see. Would you do the stuff you do that ‘makes you happy’ if you had all the happiness and love already? Maybe, but would you really do things for [to] people who don’t want it, don’t need it and then have to offer ‘positive’ feedback for gratitude or thankfulness to maintain the illusion. Yes, they lie to you and often to themselves.

If the path you are on is not happy, what has you on it? What would it take to get off it?

You are either happy or you are not. What might be a source for you being notoriously happy today right where you are? Can you find other sources? When you come from happiness, you don’t have to go looking for it.

You don’t have to go looking for love when it’s where you come from. – Werner Erhard

mirror11A source of happiness and all suffering are the thoughts you believe.

A thought is harmless unless we believe it. It’s not our thoughts, but our attachment to our thoughts, that causes suffering. Attaching to a thought means believing that it’s true, without inquiring. A belief is a thought that we’ve been attaching to, often for years. – Byron Katie

There is nothing that isn’t true if you believe it; and nothing is true, believe it or not. – Byron Katie

Every problem perceived to be ‘out there’ is really nothing more than a misperception within your own thinking. – Byron Katie

What does all this have to do with effortlessness? Happiness, the real deal, is the fuel that propels effortlessness.

You must create or generate happiness in yourself. No one and nothing else will do it for you. If you are not happy in one place, you are not happy anywhere and covering it with either peanut butter or some kind of glossy lacquer to hide the unhappiness freezes out any chance of real happiness.

It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere. -Agnes Repplier

THERE ARE ESSENTIALLY THREE WAYS to go for, get, and have what you want—the right way, the wrong way, and your way. The sooner you find your way (and the more you are willing to follow it), the easier your life gets and the more effortless your success. – Michael Neill

My favorite parable, fable is Goldilocks and the Three Bears. My producing a mirror12‘just right’ on a moment-to-moment basis means curiously considering too hard and too soft as quickly as possible to realize just right. Just right has a tendency to move from day to day.

The more you live from happiness instead of for happiness, the sooner you realize that changing the world [or anyone in it but you] is the worst possible way to change how you feel. So let me ask you one final question: If you already had all the happiness and love in the world right now, what would you still want? – Michael Neill

Really! I want to know. If you are up for discovering effortlessness use a way to contact me.



Posted in Mind, myth, wealth Tagged , permalink

About Iceburner

I grew up in Minnesota. Joined the US Navy and spent a lot of time underwater aboard submarines. After retiring from the USN I spent most of the next 20+ years in telecommunications and the last 10 studying, working and improving as a Network Marketing Professional. I have a knack for knowing where to find the forgotten, lost and used-to-be-worth something. Putting buyers and sellers together with customer service and the glue, attention to detail, is where I shine. The essence of all communication is intention. The opportunity, the real one, allowing someone to say no without no meaning anything is the only way yes makes any difference. When I realized 'design' creates 'results' I found living from happiness instead of for happiness. Ask me about having everything you want easier than you think, faster than you expect, and more fun than you can imagine. It is NOT a secret.


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